well, life's pretty good. i'm writing this from the highly uninteresting location of my parents house. only a week left until i can go back stateside. i've got nearly two weeks to myself out there, think i'm gonna crash brendon for a day, drop by warped tour for a couple, and head out to see pete and his mrs and help make arrangements and decorate (after all, that's my forte...). and after that it'll be out to australia and the far east with brendon&co. should be the trip of a lifetime. we've got lots of downtime scheduled, so maybe i'll actually get to SEE some of the world this time - not just the airport, the hotel and the venue! guess i'm still pretty scared. after next week i'll be a proper, fully-fledged adult. now i know i'm more adult than most people my age, i've got a job, a house and a car - but i still like to think i'm just a student, carefree and excitable, with the world at my feet. but after i walk that stage with the degree in my hand, nothing will be the same again... i guess that's what growing ups all about.
"...as i'm swimming through the stereo i conduct a symphony of sound..."

 
i'm also a bit gutted that it'll be the most important day of my life so far, and my family can't make the effort to get along and come watch. and i understand my friends are all busy on tour or away recording - it's not their fault, they should have to be asked to come. but they've been ten times more supportive than my own flesh and blood. sometimes i can't understand what goes through their heads. they're always saying how i'm a disappointment with my "flakey" job which isn't reliable or a real, stable career (i've invited them to come see me in action at a gig but they make their excuses for that too so i can't even proove them wrong), and then when i do something they'd love, like graduate from university with an actual degree - they can't even muster so much as a "congratulations"? **** them. i think i'm better off without them. then there was the wonderful comment my brothers girlfriend made when i arrived the other day "i thought you were supposed to lose weight on tour?". deep breaths. stay calm. i thought. she's kind enough to point out the obvious. like i needed her observations to know that i've returned home looking like the goodyear blimp. but it's not all bad. i've missed my dad (i am the world's biggest daddy's girl) and it's nice to see the brethren after all this time. AND i pick up my results on friday. i may treat myself to some shoes if i've done well. there are a beautiful pair of YSL's i've had my eye on...

anyway, apologies for having such a whiney, self-obsessed rant. i've just had a particularly shitty day. on the shit-scale this one registered at a five-point-eight. buildings were toppled. minor cracks appeared. a few people were injured. sorry to the residents of roxanne. tomorrows forecast is for clouds with a hint of sunshine...

one love, two times, x